SSUMMER RECAP

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Article by Teddy Durgin

Teddy's Summer Movie 2013 Recap

Ah, it was a sad and wistful wake-up last Monday at the Durgin household. A backpack was packed, a bag lunch was made, tears were shed, and my wife and I put our not-so-little girl on the bus and sent her off to *gulp* third grade! The summer was officially over. It's one of our most emotional mornings of the year, every year. You see, we love, LOVE the summer in this house. We travel, we barbecue, we swim. I'd much rather have our community pool to throw Maddie into rather than the germ pool that is our local elementary school. By Halloween, every little snot-nose in the zip code will be sniffling, sneezing and zoned-out on Delsym. *Sigh.* But as the bus pulled away and the reality of another June, July and August being over set in, I suddenly paused for a moment, gathered myself and found my Neverland Happy Thought... I could start writing my East County Times Teddy's Great Summer Movie 2013 Recap feature article! Oh joy, oh rapture! So, here it is, folks. This past summer movie season hasn't been a pretty one. But there were a few keepers along the way. These recap features always seem to lend themselves to three's, and this one is no different:

3 Movies Everyone Should Have Seen:

1) "The Way, Way Back;"
2) "Fast & Furious 6;"
3) "Iron Man 3."

3 Movies More People Should Have Seen:

1) "Turbo;"
2) "Mud;"
3) "Peeples"

3 Movies That Too Many People Have Seen:

1) "Man of Steel;"
2) "The Heat;"
3) "Grown-Ups 2."

3 Movies Nobody Should Have Seen:

1) "The Hangover Part III;"
2) "After Earth;"
3) "Paranoia"

3 Movies I Wanted To See, But Missed:

1) "The Conjuring;"
2) "Despicable Me 2;"
3) "Fruitvale Station"

3 Movies That Got Panned That I Rather Liked:

1) "The Lone Ranger;"
2) "We're the Millers;"
3) "The Internship."

3 Best Performances (Male):

1) Sam Rockwell, "The Way, Way Back;"
2) Joel Edgerton, "The Great Gatsby;"
3) Will Poulter, "We're the Millers."

3 Best Performances (Female):

1) Chloe Grace Moretz, "Kick-Ass 2;"
2) Gina Carano, "Fast & Furious 6;"
3) Helen Mirren (voice), "Monsters University"

3 Greatest Holy %&#% Moments:

1) The swarm of zombies going up and over the wall in "World War Z;"
2) Michael Cera going to Hell (literally) in "This Is the End;"
3) Ed Helms waking up with breasts in the post-credits sequence of "The Hangover Part III."

3 Best Cameos:

1) Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan, "The Wolverine;"
2) Leonard Nimoy, "Star Trek Into Darkness;"
3) Mark Ruffalo, "Iron Man 3."

3 Best Lines Of Dialogue:

1) "Dear God. It's me, Jonah Hill... from 'Moneyball.'" - Jonah Hill, praying to the Almighty in "This Is the End;"
2) "One of those coyotes had his way with my head!" - Jeff Bridges' Old West gunslinger, Roy, remembering the out-of-body experience of seeing his own corpse violated in "R.I.P.D."
3) "You know, when I dreamed about being stuck on a deserted planet with a gorgeous woman, there was no torpedo." - Dr. Bones McCoy, "Star Trek Into Darkness."

And, FINALLY

Three Movies I am Most Looking Forward to Next Summer:
1) "X-Men: Days of Future Past;"
2) "22 Jump Street;"
3) "The Expendables 3."

 

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